"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

As a young boy lies ill in bed his grandfather visits to read him a story. The story unfolds as we listen telling the tale of The Princess Bride and the adventures of those who loved her fighting for her hand in marriage. As the grandfather promises the story involves fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love and miracles...

"There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours."


skyjude review
This is actually an odd film to review. The title, packaging and even the description of this movie suggest it's a kid's film. And on one hand it is - my young kids think it's great. But then it has the most amazing cult following thanks to some of the most outrageously funny one-liners and oddball characters you're likely to find. You'll be hard pushed to find someone who doesn't like this movie - either it was considered a pleasant afternoon's entertainment or, as I am finding to be extremely common, this movie just touched something with it's viewer and they have nothing but huge fondness for every part of it. I became a fan thanks to Inigo Montoya and could watch this film anytime quite happily. To dislike this film would almost be inconceivable.

Top 5 Reasons for Watching The Princess Bride

[5] Billy Crystal
Yes - underneath all that make-up we find Billy Crystal playing Billy Crystal. On screen for just a few minutes he fills his time slot with even faster than usual dialogue of which only 50% is understandable and yet 100% is hilarious.

[4] Vizzini's logic
Vizzini unravels the conundrum of which wine is poisoned with unquestionable intellect (Plato, Aristotle and Socrates - they were morons) and then ultimately cheats. Which backfires spectacularly thanks to Westley's even more shrewd (if slightly reckless) cheat (see quotes below for full transcript).

[3] Westley rises from the dead
Ever seen a dead man return to life? No Hollywood style instantaneous reincarnation here - Westley slowly but surely returns to full health even confronting Humperdinck while still unable to stand.

[2] Rob Reiner
Filmed in the midst of one of the best movie making streaks in history (This Is Spinal Tap, The Sure Thing, Stand By Me and When Harry Met Sally), Reiner is a director on truly outstanding form. He again proves he can consistently create entertaining movies and even more consistently reduce his audience to tears of laughter.

[1] Inigo Montoya
The coolest movie character ever? Very possibly but there's one thing you should know - he is not left-handed. An icon in movie history if only for the immortal phrase - "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."


The Princess Bride quotes

Vizzini: A word, my lady. We are but poor, lost circus performers. Is there a village nearby?
Buttercup: There is nothing nearby. Not for miles.
Vizzini: Then there will be no one to hear you scream.

Vizzini: He didn't fall? Inconceivable.
Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Inigo Montoya: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.
Westley: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.

Inigo Montoya: You are wonderful.
Westley: Thank you. I've worked hard to become so.
Inigo Montoya: I admit it, you are better than I am.
Westley: Then why are you smiling?
Inigo Montoya: Because I know something you don't know.
Westley: And what is that?
Inigo Montoya: I am not left-handed.
Westley: You are amazing.
Inigo Montoya: I ought to be, after 20 years.
Westley: Oh, there's something I ought to tell you.
Inigo Montoya: Tell me.
Westley: I'm not left-handed either.

Westley: Alright. Where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right. And who is dead.
Vizzini: But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you. Are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet or his enemy's? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Westley: You've made your decision then?
Vizzini: Not remotely. Because iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows, and Australia is entirely peopled with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.
Westley: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.
Vizzini: Yes, Australia. And you must have suspected I would have known the powder's origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Westley: You're just stalling now.
Vizzini: You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally strong, so you could've put the poison in your own goblet, trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you've also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal, so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Westley: You're trying to trick me into giving away something. It won't work.
Vizzini: It has worked! You've given everything away! I know where the poison is!
Westley: Then make your choice.
Vizzini: I will, and I choose. What in the world can that be?
Westley: What? Where? I don't see anything.
Vizzini: Well, I, I could have sworn I saw something. No matter. First, let's drink. Me from my glass, and you from yours.
Westley: You guessed wrong.
Vizzini: You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ---
Buttercup: And to think, all that time it was your cup that was poisoned.
Westley: They were both poisoned. I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder.

Inigo Montoya: Are you the Miracle Max who worked for the King all those years?
Miracle Max: The King's stinking son fired me, and thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject. While you're at it, why don't you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it? We're closed.

Miracle Max: Get back, witch.
Valerie: I'm not a witch, I'm your wife. And after what you just said, I'm not even sure I want to be that any more.

Miracle Max: He probably owes you money huh? I'll ask him.
Inigo Montoya: He's dead. He can't talk.
Miracle Max: Whoo hoo hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that your friend here is only mostly dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there's usually only one thing you can do.
Inigo Montoya: What's that?
Miracle Max: Go through his clothes and look for loose change.

Inigo Montoya: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. Now, offer me money.
Count Tyrone Rugen: Yes.
Inigo Montoya: Power too. Promise me that.
Count Tyrone Rugen: All that I have and more. Please!
Inigo Montoya: Offer me everything I ask for.
Count Tyrone Rugen: Anything you want.
Inigo Montoya: I want my father back, you son of a bitch.



Production company: The Princess Bride Ltd.